英語(yǔ)名著讀書(shū)筆記1
海上日出
Sunrise at Sea
巴金
Ba Jin
摘自張培基《英譯中國(guó)散文選二》
中文:
有時(shí)太陽(yáng)走進(jìn)了云堆中,它的光線卻從云里射下來(lái),直射到水面上。這時(shí)候要分辨出哪里是水,哪里是天,倒也不容易,因?yàn)槲揖椭豢匆?jiàn)一片燦爛的亮光。
英文:
Sometimes,hidden by the clouds, the sun nonetheless shed its rays straight onto the sea water, making it difficult for me to distinguish between the sky and the sea because what I saw in front of me was nothing but a wide expanse of brilliant light.
要點(diǎn):
1,“有時(shí)太陽(yáng)走進(jìn)了云堆中”此處譯者為了與下文照應(yīng),采用了主動(dòng)轉(zhuǎn)被動(dòng)的手法~此句也可以理解為以“太陽(yáng)”為主語(yǔ)的多動(dòng)詞句,“射出光線”為主要?jiǎng)釉~,“走進(jìn)云堆”是次要?jiǎng)釉~,譯為過(guò)去分詞形式,至于句首~
2,”射到水面上“譯為shed rays onto the sea,其中shed 此處意為”灑“
3,此句 譯 文 中有 3處 使 用 了 頭 韻 : sun/ shed / straight /seawater 、 difficult和distinguish、 s k y 和 s e a 。體現(xiàn)了散文的美感,讀起來(lái)也是朗朗上口滴~
4,the sun nonetheless shed its rays straight onto the sea water中 , 將 原 文 “ 光線從云里射 下來(lái) ”“ 直射到水面上 ” 兩個(gè)動(dòng)作合譯,讀起來(lái)一氣呵成,流暢自然~后面直接用making連接兩個(gè)句子,也體現(xiàn)了原文的簡(jiǎn)潔
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中文:有時(shí)天邊有黑云,而且云片很厚,太陽(yáng)出來(lái),人眼還看不見(jiàn)。然而太陽(yáng)在黑云里放射的光芒,透過(guò)黑云的重圍,替黑云鑲了一道發(fā)光的金邊。后來(lái)太陽(yáng)才慢慢地沖出重圍,出現(xiàn)在天空,甚至把黑云也染成了紫色或者紅色。這時(shí)候發(fā)亮的不僅是太陽(yáng)、云和海水,連我自己也成了明亮的了。這不是很偉大的奇觀么?
英文:Sometimes, with thick layers of dark clouds hanging in the sky, the sun was hardly visible to the naked eye. But its radiance managed to show through the dark clouds to edge them with golden lace. Then, after gradually breaking through the tight encirclement, it came into full view and even dyed the dark clouds purple or scarlet. At the moment, apart from the sun,the clouds and the seawater, I too was luminous.Wasn't that a marvelous spectacle?
要點(diǎn):
1,“太陽(yáng)出來(lái)人眼還看不見(jiàn)” 非 人稱 主語(yǔ) 使 折射 一 定 生 命 內(nèi)涵 的動(dòng) 詞 被 “ 挪 用 ”于不具 生命 的主語(yǔ) , 這樣 的句 式 就 自然 而然 地 抹 上了擬人色彩。譯為“ t h e s u n w a s h a r d l y v i s i b l e t o t h e n a k e d e y e ” , 符合英語(yǔ)行文。而且 , 把太陽(yáng)賦與人性 ,以非人稱主語(yǔ)替代人稱主語(yǔ) , 表達(dá)頓趨簡(jiǎn)潔 , 而且顯 得生動(dòng)活潑
2,“透過(guò)黑云”此處譯為managed to show through the dark clouds,用penetrate也可以,從上文的emerge到這里的manage to do,譯者運(yùn)用大量人性化的動(dòng)詞,將原文的“擬人化”的手法表現(xiàn)得淋漓盡致~
3,scarlet(緋紅,猩紅),本段乃至全文對(duì)于顏色的描寫(xiě)都非常細(xì)致,值得借鑒和總結(jié)~
4,“這時(shí)候發(fā)亮的不僅是太陽(yáng)、云和海水,連我自己也成了明亮的了!弊g為At the moment, apart from the sun,the clouds and the seawater, I too was luminous. 是作者借景抒情,不知不覺(jué)地融入到自然環(huán)境當(dāng)中 ,情和景 在此刻完全交融在一起了。” 譯者刻意調(diào)整句子重心,將這種 遞進(jìn)關(guān)系傳神地傳達(dá)給了讀者 ,主次分明,突出此時(shí)此“ 我 ” 的融情于景 。
英語(yǔ)名著讀書(shū)筆記2
雨前
Praying For Rainfall
何其芳He Qifang
譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國(guó)散文選二》
中文:
我懷想著故鄉(xiāng)的雷聲和雨聲。那隆隆的有力的搏擊,從山谷返響到山谷,仿佛春之芽就從凍土里震動(dòng),驚醒,而怒茁出來(lái)。細(xì)草樣柔的雨絲又以溫存之手撫摸它,使它簇生油綠的枝葉而開(kāi)出紅色的花。這些懷想如鄉(xiāng)愁一樣縈繞得使我憂郁了。我心里的氣候也和這北方大陸一樣缺少雨量,一滴溫柔的淚在我枯澀的眼里,如遲疑在這陰沉的天空里的雨點(diǎn),久不落下。
英文:
I can never forget the thunderstorm we often had in my home town. Over there, whenever the rumble of thunder reverberated across the valley, the buds of spring would seem to sprout freely after being disturbed and roused up from their slumber in the frozen soil. Then tenderly stroked by the soft hands of fine rain, they would put forth bright green leaves and pink flowers. It makes me nostalgic and melancholy to think about the old times and my mind is as dePssed as the vast expanse of North China is thirsty. A tear stands in my dull eye and, like the rain lingering in the murky sky, is slow to roll down.
要點(diǎn):
1,“那隆隆的有力的搏擊,從山谷返響到山谷,仿佛春之芽就從凍土里震動(dòng),驚醒,而怒茁出來(lái)!白g為Over there, whenever the rumble of thunder reverberated across the valley, the buds of spring would seem to sprout freely after being disturbed and roused up from their slumber in the frozen soil. 原文中的3個(gè)動(dòng)詞!闭駝(dòng)驚醒,和怒茁“其實(shí)是遞升的關(guān)系,張先生在翻譯時(shí)同時(shí)運(yùn)用了主動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)和被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài),使得原文的遞升意義不復(fù)存在,F(xiàn)提供另一段譯文。Those mighty crashes rumbled and reverberated from mountain valley to mountain valley, as if the new shoots of spring were shaking in the frozen gound, awakening, and bursting forth with a terrifying vigour.。這段譯文很好地體現(xiàn)了遞升的手法,同學(xué)們可以對(duì)比記憶。
2,“細(xì)草樣柔的雨絲又以溫存之手撫摸它,使它簇生油綠的枝葉而開(kāi)出紅色的花!巴怀龅厥褂脮(shū)面語(yǔ)或文學(xué)性詞匯,也是本文的特色之一,加之這句話既有通感,又有擬人,因此在選詞方面要尤為注意
3,“我心里的氣候也和這北方大陸一樣缺少雨量“不宜按字面直譯,可理解為” 我的心情抑郁,和北方大地干旱達(dá)到同樣嚴(yán)重的程度!皩⑵浔扔鞯囊馑挤鰜(lái),譯為my mind is as dePssed as the vast expanse of North China is thirsty.
4,“久不落下“漢語(yǔ)的否定結(jié)果比較單純,否定詞只有“不”、“非”、“否”、“勿”、“別”、“無(wú)”、“未”、“莫”、“不是”、“沒(méi)有”、“決不”、“毫無(wú)”、“幾乎沒(méi)有”、“幾乎不”等簡(jiǎn)單的詞匯,漢語(yǔ)的傳統(tǒng)是傾向于動(dòng)詞否定。
而英語(yǔ)的否定除借助詞匯手段外,還借助句子結(jié)構(gòu)和特殊表達(dá)方式來(lái)表達(dá)否定概念,既有動(dòng)詞否定,也有名詞否定的習(xí)慣。
此處譯者譯為is slow to roll down, 是使用系表結(jié)構(gòu)~表達(dá)了了形式上肯定,意義上否定的方法。
綜述:
注意本段講的否定句的譯法~實(shí)際翻譯時(shí)為了符合英語(yǔ)表達(dá)習(xí)慣,我們可以“形肯意否“或采取否定轉(zhuǎn)移的方法~
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中文:白色的鴨也似有一點(diǎn)煩躁了,有不潔的顏色的都市的河溝里傳出它們焦急的叫聲。有的還未厭倦那船一樣的徐徐的劃行。有的卻倒插它們的長(zhǎng)頸在水里,紅色的蹼趾伸在尾后,不停地?fù)鋼糁灾С稚眢w的平衡。不知是在尋找溝底的細(xì)微食物,還是貪那深深的水里的寒冷。
英文:White ducks have also become somewhat impatient. Some are sending out irritated quacks from the turbid waters of an urban creek. Some keep swimming leisurely and tirelessly like a slow boat. Some have their long necks submerged headfirst in the water while sticking up their webbed feet behind their tails and splashing them desperately so as to keep their balance. There is no knowing if they are searching for tiny bits of food from the bottom of the creek or just enjoying the chill of the deep water.
要點(diǎn):
1.在處理多層定語(yǔ)句“有不潔的顏色的都市的河溝里傳出它們焦急的叫聲“是譯者采用了后置定語(yǔ)來(lái)翻譯,譯為the turbid waters of an urban creek,
2,第二個(gè)多層定語(yǔ)句“那船一樣的徐徐的劃行“譯者巧妙地按其功能處理為了方式狀語(yǔ)
swimming leisurely and tirelessly like a slow boat
3,“不知是在尋找溝底的細(xì)微食物,還是貪那深深的水里的寒冷!爸械摹辈恢=there is no knowing…,并且對(duì)于“寒冷”一詞的處理也比較貼切。
綜述:漢語(yǔ)定語(yǔ)一般為前置,而且很少使用超過(guò)兩層以上的多層定語(yǔ),這是漢語(yǔ)的傳統(tǒng)。在英語(yǔ)翻譯語(yǔ)言的影響下,現(xiàn)代漢語(yǔ)的多層前置定語(yǔ)已經(jīng)成為普遍現(xiàn)象。與漢語(yǔ)相比,英語(yǔ)名詞常常有多層定語(yǔ)限制,這些定語(yǔ)或前置或后置,或前后合并使用。明白了這些漢英差異,做起翻譯也會(huì)稍微得心應(yīng)手。